How the heck did you get eqgame.exe down to 5 MB in memory? :) For me, eqgame takes up something close to 7 MB before getting into the game, and anywhere from 210 to 510 MB while playing, regardless of MQ or anything else running. Read: lots of graphics loaded. Just a thought as salt to the discussion. There very well may be a memory leak in MQ somewhere also.
Here's my experience with the situation. I dual or triple box almost every single time I play EverQuest, and so does my roommate. (We each play on a single computer running multiple instances of EQ, for clarification.) We run MQ and LEQM and EQW every single time we play. With or without actually running a macro, we have not noticed a) bloated executables b) excessive swapping/resource use c) any additional lag or link deaths.
I am not dismissing the problem out of hand, by any means. Just sharing my experiences since I dual-box a LOT.